DVDsandSexToys.com

So I was cruising on the interwebs and came across this blogpost about 10 Things That Porn Gets Wrong. And I felt some type of way about it. So I thought I would rebuttal it. This isn’t saying the author of the post (Nout) is wrong, this is just my response.

I will address each of her points, (and make a suggestion) but to read her explanation you will have to check out her blogpost.

1. The performers look like they belong in a police lineup.
   When the stars look too perfect, people complain it’s not realistic. When it’s realistic, people complain it’s not not enough like a fantasy.
   Suggested:
   

A lot of fake sex sounds.
See, some people like different things. Some people like and get wild when they fuck. Some are more silent. I agree that at times it’s way over the top, but sometimes it’s called for.
Suggested:


2. Spitting.
   I like spitting. Doing the spitting or having a girl spit in my mouth. Weird? Maybe. But why does what someone dislikes make porn bad?
   Suggested:
   
3. You hear and/or see the director in the background of a scene.
   Uhm, gonzo? Guessing you aren’t a fan. But I like BTS stuff too. Not to mention the scene in one of my all-time favorites where Dave Navarro directs Sasha Grey in one scene on each set.
   Suggested:
   
4. Crappy audio.
   Agreed. But… Sometimes the audio and/or video isn’t meant to look or feel like a Spielberg film. It’s supposed to be gritty. It’s not supposed to sound like it was shot on a soundstage.
   Suggested:
   
5. Shaky camera footage, blurry scenes, plain bad production values.
   Of course. But is this really one that “porn gets wrong”? I mean have you ever seen Night Train To Mundo Fine? No reason to take all of Hollywood to task over a bad film here or there.
   Suggested:
   
6. Jokingly awful background music.
   Of course! But you do know this is porn, righ? Next you might be annoyed by all the sex they are having in the movie…
   Suggested:
   
7. Terrible editing.
   Again, I’m with you. But are we really going to cast the net on the industry as a whole? Some have some really exceptional editing as well. Why not talk about how great of a job porn does at editing?
   Suggested:
   
8. The sets look like they were assembled by a 5-year-old.
   It’s 2010. Yes there amateur stuff, but the sets and locations have gotten exponentially more impressive. There are some that are on par with Hollywood films. So to suggest that the sets are all horrible is grossly inaccurate. Do me a favor, next time you have a kid and they turn five, have them put together something that resembles the set of my suggested movie.
   Suggested:
   
9. Porn logic.
   Agreed. But, different strokes for different folks. And in today’s day and age variety is the spice of life and several other cliches. But my point. Some get right into the wham-bam-throw it in the turd cutter-thank you ma’am sex, but with so many options out there, there’s plenty to choose from.
   Suggested:
   

Now I don’t even make porn but I took offense to some of this. Primarily because of the lumping together of all porn. Six of these could immediately be eliminated by choosing particular studios or company’s with higher production values. But if you are buying your porn in the back room of a movie rental store where you have to slip through the door in the back for the adult section and have to navigate the VHS boxes on the shelf… You are kind of getting what you are looking for and paying for.

In any event, to lump it all in together when porn is such a wide open market these days just goes to feed and reinforce the not always true stereotypes.