Love these.
This one was via messages.

Aurélie
And you’ve added why exactly? Who are you?

Chris Smutjawns
You were one of the people Facebook “suggested.”
Wasn’t trying to bother or offend you.
I apologize if I did…

Aurélie
And you just add any people that is suggested randomly??

Chris Smutjawns
It was suggested. I guessed we had someone or something in common. My name is Chris. What would you like to know exactly? I will tell you.

Aurélie
You added me. You should be the one asking questions.

Chris Smutjawns
Hahaha.
How are you today?
Hows that to start…?

Aurélie
BORING

Chris Smutjawns
What’s your biggest fear in life?

Aurélie
I’m not scared of anything

Chris Smutjawns
Give me your bank account info.

Aurélie
I’m deleting you

Chris Smutjawns
Fair enough.

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Its Emma Göring again:

Emma
what kind of underwear do u wear?

Chris
all kinds…
should i be honest with you?

Emma
yes

Chris
i like to wear dirty underwear. ones with shitstains and skidmarks. is that weird?

Emma
it’s maybe not usual but… what’s weird today? :-)

Chris
so me liking to wear underwear with feces and rectal matter isnt weird to you?

Emma
well i dont think its clean… but weird… i think there are more weird things in the world

Chris
would you shit in your underwear for me and let me wear them?

Emma
euhm… haha i dont know, i know that i wouldnt wear it anymore then :-D

Chris
will you do that? if you want i can shit my pampers and mail them to you for you to wear…

Emma
well i said that i dont think feces are clean… what that matter i’m quite a clean girl

Chris
so you are judging me…

Emma
no but i dont have the urge to wear things with shit on :-)
if that turns u on, its fine
but i dont feel like doing it

Chris
what if you wearing my dookie drawers turns me on?

Emma
well maybe we can find another thing i can do that turns you on then ;-)

Emma
:-)

Chris
what about if i cum in your shoes and you can walk around in them all day?

Emma
well cum is not dirty ;-) so maybe i would do that yes

Chris
and then i can shit in your shoe

Emma
but im not gonna wear it then ;-)

Chris
why not :(

Emma
are there maybe other things that turn u on?

Chris
that would turn me on

Emma
because i dont think its clean… thats why :-)

My other enlightened convos here and here.

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So after my last exchange, the nonsense doesn’t seem to stop.

Between “straight” guys who have an idea for a “role” for me, ones who want to talk all day about porn/girls/my job, and various spammers it makes for a day full of pointless and mindless banter.

Here are two from this morning.
Both have been edited down slightly to make it somewhat digestible.

Read the rest of this entry »

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This was priceless.
So I started a new Facebook profile today.

Tonight this guy requests me, I add him, and seconds later we had this convo.

7:37pm
Bobby Blaze
CHRIS
HEY YOU THERTE
I NEED SOME HELP AND FAST

7:37pm
Chris
?

7:38pm
Bobby Blaze
I FUCKING HOPE YOU GOOD AT TALKING TO PORNSTARS
I NEED TO GET IN THIS COMPANY AND I NEED TO KNOW WANT TO SAY BACK TO :

look I dont respond to immature guys . Only for mature adult men and women. You are who you are. And that’s good for youl I don’t have time to take away from real fans and honestly more adult acting gentlemen. good day.

THATS A COPY OF WHAT SHE SENT ME
what the fuck should i say back
i need this man
….
??

7:39pm
Chris

lol
good luck buddy

7:39pm
Bobby Blaze
come on man
no… you not going to leave me hagnginh
i know i got my word cut out for me but comeone

chris buddy
fuck you

7:43pm
Chris

dog i dont even know you, and from the jump you gonna hit me up on some, help me talk to a pornstar?!?!

gluck buddy

7:43pm
Bobby Blaze
ya man
after you help i would get to know you
look man im a vergin and im fucking up right now come on bro

7:44pm
Chris

its looking like you gonna stay a virgin

7:44pm
Bobby Blaze
AHAHAHAH dont play hommie
like you wouldnt know the first thing to say to a porn star

7:45pm
Chris

real talk? if you think you gonna lose your V to a pornstar you kickin it to on FB… you already lost.

shut your internet off for a month or two, save the money and get a hooker.

7:46pm
Bobby Blaze
look man
this is deffent i got this one on a fcking lesh
shes testing me and im fucking up….

7:46pm
Chris

then you dont have her on a leash and your pimphand is weak

7:47pm
Bobby Blaze
true WHEN IT COMES TO A FUCKING PORNSTAR

7:46pm
Chris

true, apparently when it comes to a fucking pornstar your pimphand is NONEXISTANT

Edit: Uh-oh! Heeeeeeeeeeeeee’s baaaaaack!
Just got back from lunch and this message was waiting for me:

12:32ppm
Bobby Blaze

i would knock you the fuck out

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Add me over at one of these places and email me and I will send you a discount at SexToys.com!


Twitter: @DVDsandSexToys


MySpace: www.myspace.com/dvdsandsextoys

Facebook: www.facebook.com/chris.smutjawns

Xpeeps: www.xpeeps.com/chris_hotmovies

Facebook is in their bullshit and suspended my profile. I am appealing it and trying to find out why. In the meantime you can join the Sex Toys fan page.

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