Official Jersey Shore Parody

Official Jersey Shore Parody.com
Studio: Zero Tolerance Entertainment
Directors: Brian Bangs & Spock Buckton
Stars: Mark Wood, Lisa Ann, Mick Blue,  Tommy Gunn, Anthony Rosano, James Deen, Mikey Butders, Lexi Love, Kristina Rose, Ann Marie Rios, Rocco Reed, Spock Buckton, Kagney Linn Karter, Mellanie Monroe, Sara Sloane, Mike Pacino

Ok, I have a small confession. I only saw part of one episode of Mtv’s Jersey Shore. When I finally got around to seeing what the hype was about, I was not disappointed. It was as horrible as I thought and expected. I think people who watched the show fell into one of two categories: those who wanted to party with the guidos and guidettes and the people who watched to make fun of them. The later is forgivable. Barely. I mean I watch a ton of dumb shit on tv. And that was the fucking dumbest. But inevitable as the porn world turns and the deluge of parodies it was a matter of no time before someone got the brilliant idea to turn the most viewed show in Mtv’s history into a porn spoof.

In fact it was so obvious there were at least two camps that rushed to get this out the door. Spock Buckton and Brian Bangs from PopPorn shot this version for Zero Tolerance while Taryn Thomas and her production company Taryn It Up Entertainment teamed with Adam & Eve to shoot Jersey Shore XXX. Words were exchanged between the camps and most people just sat back and watched the showmanship. Even the mainstream press picked up on the tiff. I confess that I haven’t seen Thomas’ interpretation of the reality show either, but for now I am here to pick apart ZT’s version.

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So a few weeks back, I listed my Top 7 Stars (aka: who I would like to eff).
It’s about damn time I listed some favorite movies. Again, here’s the thing. These are a few of MY favorites. Not the best, but ones I like. So if you don’t like them, I don’t care. At all.

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Strip Tease Then Fuck 12
Studio: Zero Tolerance Entertainment
Director: Mike Quasar
Stars: Dyanna Lauren, Mark Wood, John Strong,  Mick Blue,  James Deen,  Ann Marie Rios,  Madelyn Marie,  Sarah Vandella,  Evie Dellatossa

I have been busy giving away fake twats for the past week or so, but wanted to get back to watching some porn. (Can you blame me?) Don’t worry though. I have 11 more phony vaginas in a box next to my desk, so there is plenty more to come.

So I reached down into a different goodie bag and pulled out Zero Tolerance’s Strip Tease Then Fuck 12. Mike Quasar directed the latest installment that features Dyanna Lauren, Mark Wood, John Strong,  Mick Blue,  James Deen,  Ann Marie Rios,  Madelyn Marie,  Sara Vandella and Evie Dellatossa. This series has been around for a minute and continues to star some of the hottest names and hottest bodies in the business and clearly this one isn’t any difference. The real question is if there will be enough teasing or enough pleasing. There’s only one way to find out!

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Kill Girl Kill

Studio: VCA
Director: Eon McKai
Stars: Katrina Kraven, Kurt Lockwood, Gia Jordan, Brooklyn, Veronica Jett, Mya Rose, Trent Soluri, James Deen, Zoe Matthews, Benny Profane

I picked an early film by Eon McKai after repeatedly being asked if there is any porn that I like. Apparently I have been hard on the movies I pick. Usually there’s no rhyme or reason or agenda with what I choose, I just reach in the bag and BOOM. But with a few people mentioning me just dumping on movies as of late, I went for one of my favorite director’s early works. I never pick anything I have seen before, so it is as new to me as it might be to you. I know it’s his second film (the first being Art School Sluts) back when he was shooting for VCA. It’s from 2005 when the alt genre was first starting to establish a presence. Yes I know there were alt films and directors before this time, but as far as really defining alt as a genre on its own instead of being a standalone film or a single director, that was around the time the roots laid by the predecessors really started to become entrenched in the industry.

As usual when it comes to alt-ish stuff, there are two camps. The ones that probably just don’t get the genre and are quick to come down on the film based on ignorance, and those that get it and can judge it within context based on merits. That doesn’t mean that just because it is alternative to mainstream smut they automatically like it, they just understand the concept better. I would like to think I fall in the latter category but in reality I am probably somewhere in the middle. I am always intrigued in artists who I like’s early work. To see where they come from and went to get where they are at, if that makes sense.  Plus, with McKai behind the camera and both seasoned performers and fresh faces in front of the camera I was interested.

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waist-watchers-05

Waist Watchers 5
Studio: Zero Tolerance
Director: Nate Liquor
Stars: Angie Luv, Madison Mitchell, Savannah Tyler, Tiffany Blake, Tyung Lee, James Deen, Jerry, Sascha

After a few reviews doing more feature types of movies, I thought I would drive my porn reviewer-mobile over to the gonzo section of town and check out some BBWs. Theres hundreds of jokes about overweight girls. The more cushion the more pushing. There’s more to love. Roll them in flour and look for the wet spots. They are like mopeds, fun to ride until your friends catch you. All jokes aside, there are some really good looking girls who pack a few extra pounds. And have a hearty sexual appetite. Zero Tolerance teamed with Nate Liquor for their fifth installment of the Waist Watchers series.

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