Official Jersey Shore Parody

Official Jersey Shore Parody.com
Studio: Zero Tolerance Entertainment
Directors: Brian Bangs & Spock Buckton
Stars: Mark Wood, Lisa Ann, Mick Blue,  Tommy Gunn, Anthony Rosano, James Deen, Mikey Butders, Lexi Love, Kristina Rose, Ann Marie Rios, Rocco Reed, Spock Buckton, Kagney Linn Karter, Mellanie Monroe, Sara Sloane, Mike Pacino

Ok, I have a small confession. I only saw part of one episode of Mtv’s Jersey Shore. When I finally got around to seeing what the hype was about, I was not disappointed. It was as horrible as I thought and expected. I think people who watched the show fell into one of two categories: those who wanted to party with the guidos and guidettes and the people who watched to make fun of them. The later is forgivable. Barely. I mean I watch a ton of dumb shit on tv. And that was the fucking dumbest. But inevitable as the porn world turns and the deluge of parodies it was a matter of no time before someone got the brilliant idea to turn the most viewed show in Mtv’s history into a porn spoof.

In fact it was so obvious there were at least two camps that rushed to get this out the door. Spock Buckton and Brian Bangs from PopPorn shot this version for Zero Tolerance while Taryn Thomas and her production company Taryn It Up Entertainment teamed with Adam & Eve to shoot Jersey Shore XXX. Words were exchanged between the camps and most people just sat back and watched the showmanship. Even the mainstream press picked up on the tiff. I confess that I haven’t seen Thomas’ interpretation of the reality show either, but for now I am here to pick apart ZT’s version.

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So a few weeks back, I listed my Top 7 Stars (aka: who I would like to eff).
It’s about damn time I listed some favorite movies. Again, here’s the thing. These are a few of MY favorites. Not the best, but ones I like. So if you don’t like them, I don’t care. At all.

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Broken
Studio: Teravision
Director: Dave Navarro
Stars: Jenna Haze, Mark Davis, Kayla Paige, Victoria Sin, Tommy Gunn, Lisa Daniels, Spyder Jonez, Marco Banderas, Sasha Grey, Audrey Bitoni

As I have said in other posts, one of the perks of this job is I can pick what I want to review. I try and be fair, vary it, but I won’t deny my personal favorites. One of those is Sasha Grey. I just think a) she is drop dead gorgeous and b) she does pretty interesting projects. I also like the fact she has crossed over a little into mainstream, while not fitting or succumbing to the clichéd pornstar role. It’s probably good for everyone. So after a rash of just bad porn (not just bad to me, but bad period) I decided to reach back into the sure and steady bin and pull out a Teravision release starring Ms. Grey.

One of the films she did back in 2008 was with rockstar turned part-time porn director Dave Navarro. Navarro’s directorial debut ended up winning an AVN for Best High End All-Sex Release. With the Jane’s Addiction guitarist at the helm it is no surprise the final product was not cookie cutter Porn Valley, which made it interesting to watch and difficult to review. I would much prefer this dilemma than having to review the same old smut.

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janines-got-male

Janine’s Got Male
Studio: Vivid
Producer: Paul Thomas
Stars: Evan Stone, Dale DaBone, Tawny Roberts, Nick Manning, Christian, Kimberly Kane, Shy Love, Christie Lee, Mia Beck, Monique Alexander, Rick Patrick, Tommy Gunn, Janine

Even when she isn’t doing much porn anymore, Janine Lindemulder and her name just can’t seem to stay out of people’s mouths. After having wrapped her 6 month bid in federal prison for tax evasion and losing a nasty custody battle with ex-husband Jesse James, Janine probably wishes she was back in 90’s when life was much simpler and she was only banging other girls. Before her sex tape with Vince Neil, the world had never seen a cock plow into her. Once that seal was broken, she began to release movies featuring her in boy/girl scenes, something that the world had been fantasizing and salivating over for years. Then in 2005 director Paul Thomas shot Janine in her first boy/boy/girl scene in Janine’s Got Male.

This is not the Janine of yours, or her, youth. Certainly and officially MILF material, she is covered with a full color sleeve on one arm, tons of tattoos all over her, pierced tits and a pierced clit. Those bedroom eyes, that mouth and a smoking hot body, for any age. Her fake tits are starting to age as well and it’s a shame those weren’t or didn’t look more natural and some razor-burn I could have done without, but I certainly wouldn’t send her away.

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fishnets-10

Fishnets 10
Studio: Zero Tolerance
Director: Mike Quasar
Starring: Mark Wood, Tanya James, Mr. Pete, Kimberly Kane, Tommy Gunn, Marco Banderas, Dane Cross, Priya Rai, Kiera King, Jayden Jaymes

Zero Tolerance delivers their tenth installment in their Fishnet series, and they delivered one of the best of a very good series. Just because you take a common fetish, add some sexy women, doesn’t always equate to a good skin flick. But Zero Tolerance does a pretty good job consistently and having Mike Quasar direct the talents of Tanya James, Jayden James, Kimberly Kane, Priya Rai and Kiera King is a good set up. As a neat marketing and promo bonus, the DVD comes wrapped in actual pink fishnets. Nice touch. But first impressions aside, what really matters is what’s beneath all the pretty packaging.

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